Celebrity update

Because politics gets boring, we read the tabloid gossip trash, so you don't have to:

• Mischa Barton topless. Another one of those, "Huh, who is she?" starlets I never heard of before. She first popped up in "The Sixth Sense," then starred in "The O.C.," a show that no adult ever watched.
• Also topless: Sienna Miller, partying at a Mediterranean resort with very married father of four Balthazar Getty. Just in case you don't know who she is either, she's a British actress who played Edie Sedgewick in Factory Girl and was once engaged to Jude Law (The Talented Mr. Ripley/Cold Mountain).
• "Mini-Me" Vern Troyer wins a lawsuit to prevent distribution of a sex tape. There is a God.
• Miley Cyrus wet T-shirt picture. Seems that 15-year-old Miley has a habit of sending sexy photos to her boyfriend, Nick Jonas (of the Jonas Brothers band, with whom she's currently on tour) and somebody's hacked her account.
• Speaking of the Jonas Brothers, brother Joe just graduated from high school.
• Miley bids fair to follow in the tabloid footsteps of another former Disney starlet, Lindsay Lohan, who partied with her lesbian girlfriend last night. (But, you know, come to think of it, I don't really remember Lindsay's name ever being romantically linked with any guy stars, so maybe she's been gay ever since The Parent Trap.)
• In other ex-Disney starlet news, Britney Spears has almost settled her custody dispute with K-Fed.
• You know the comedian Carrot Top? Here he is at a Hollywood restaurant. Notice the chick he's with. Yeah -- in Hollywood, even B-list celebrities like Carrot Top hang out with beautiful blondes.

As usual, we get all our celebrity trash from WeSmirch, the gossip aggregator.